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Many people who enter the internet dating arena right after a breakup suffer the boomerang effect, as their negative feelings come back to thwart good results.
If new to the scene, this can easily become a turnoff, and cause him or her to seek other avenues that offer only a fraction of the opportunities and potential.
There is a reason why results are so dismal in such instances. If only those so afflicted had known how easy it is to snap out of snap out of the blues and get startlingly better results.
The secret lies in the realm of silent communication. There is a failure to realize that interplay, whether by email or phone or in person, involves more than just words.
The real problem, according to many consultants, is the non-verbal messages that are sent. Depression, negativism, and overanxiety are not islands within . Bad vibes can seep into and saturate any type of communication
Unless you take corrective action, your effectiveness will dwindle on the heels of a breakup. No one likes to be snared in a rebound net. Or bond with someone who feels internet dating will quickly heal the tears and lesions from a prior encounter. Who want to fit into 'anyone will do' suit?
Be aware that is exactly what survivors of a failed relationship convey under such circumstances.
Fortunately, there is an easy way to overcome, short of letting time heal the wounds. A way which also can work wonders with anyone wanting to improve their results.
Replace The 'Blahs' With Positive Communication
The first clue on how to do that comes from the world of telemarketing, where they teach newcomers to smile inwardly and outwardly every time they pick up the phone. Sounds simple, but this type of silent communication makes what you write and what you say much more positive.
Likewise, with physiology, say the relationship psychologists. You can
transmit negativism every time your chest sags and your breathing becomes shallow.
Want a quick fix? Suck your stomach in and stick your chest out. Put a gleam in your eye as you breathe deeply. The results are almost instant, and for the moment, you are exuding confidence that makes for more effective emails and profile essays.
The reason, of course, is the mind/body connection. What you do physically affects how you feel mentally. All of which reflects on the messages you are conveying.
So it is not so much a matter of waiting for the heartbreak to end at which time the spirits will might move you. It is more the ability to instantly alter your mood and convey positiveness to the other.
Try it the next time you are feeling sorry for yourself and watch how it instantly snaps you into a better frame of mind which shows on the other side of our communication.
Positive Penmanship Also Helps
Another very effective mind/body technique is to write, in longhand, what you are going to say in your profile or email. Use bold large strokes. It is not so much what you put on paper prior to your communication, but how you do it that hits your subconscious in a positive way and subsequently transmits the good vibes in your email or phone conversation.
It bears repeating. Periodically, during each day, you should consciously audit your posture and breathing and take corrective physical action to bring your body back into positive balance.
When you find yourself thinking negatively, as a result of an aborted relationship, you should take the time to correct the physical side of the equation.
Chances are that your posture, your breathing, your facial expression, and your movements have slumped.
So once more for the record. Stand up straight. Thrust your chest out. Straighten your shoulders. Suck in your stomach. Take deeper breaths. Put a gleam in your eyes. Force a big smile. Talk louder if appropriate. Move faster.
If you are sitting or lying, you can make those physical moves
almost as effectively.
Moving means motion, and, frequently, exaggerated motion. Get
more muscles into play and more air into your lungs. Make
gestures. Speed everything up. Play act.
If you experiment with physical moves as an antidote to the blahs, you will eventually develop a protocol that will enable your vibratory frequency to rise in lock step with improved physiology.
This will enable you to get much better results on the internet dating sites. And to make a much better impression on everyone you meet. Best of all, you will find that it helps to heal prior wounds much more rapidly.
The techniques described above constitute just a small part of the
arsenal contained at Revive Being Alive. Check it out.
About The Author:
Norman J. Baratt is a successful writer and publisher of articles and books on life improvement, relationships, self help, and personal growth.
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